I Will Fly
by Katez-chan
Summary: Olivia, now 16, has fallen ill. Fidelio is heartbroken when he learns that she may die. Can he tell Olivia he loves her before it's too late? FidoLiv. My first songfic. DEAD. Won't be continuing unless I feel like it.
1. Chapter 1

**Katez-chan says: **My first songfic! Hope you like it! ^^

I promised I would write some CharLiv for you guys, so... this isn't it. Sorry. ^^; This is FidoLiv, again, because 1) they're so cute and 2) that's just how it turned out.

**Disclaimer: **Fidelio, Olivia, and any other characters belong to Jenny Nimmo. The song "I Will Fly" Belongs to the three lovely ladies that make up the band Hot Soup!. Neither the song nor the characters belong to me. Got that? Good. Now don't sue me.

Short summary: Olivia, now 16, discovers that she has cancer. Fidelio is heartbroken when he learns that she may die. He now has to tell Olivia he loves her before it's too late.

Long summary: Olivia is sixteen when her unusually successful acting career is brought to a halt by a brain tumor which has progressed to a lethal degree. Fidelio has loved her for a long time, but has never said anything. Will he be tempted to speak up when he learns Olivia may lose her fight with cancer? Olivia already knows she will die, despite the doctors' reassurances. However, she may have some comforting words for her beloved violinist.

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Fidelio caught up to Charlie in the garden of Bloor's. He'd been looking for Olivia all morning and had now forgotten why.

"Why isn't Olivia here? Is she filming another movie?"

"Haven't you heard?" It was only later that Fidelio realised that Charlie looked more concerned than anything.

"Look, I don't really pay attention to what movies are being filmed or-"

"She's in the hospital."

Fidelio was stunned, shocked, and scared. "What? Why?!"

"Apparently, she collapsed while walking home from Emma's on Saturday. They wouldn't have found her, but her mum was worried and called Ingledew's. Liv had left an hour earlier, so she should have been home by then. So they called her cell phone, and nobody answered. They were just about to go out and look for her when Mrs. Vertigo got a call from one of Liv's fans who'd recognised her. She was unconscious and lying on the sidewalk when they found her. They couldn't wake her up, so they took her to the hospital and it took a whole day for her to wake up, but when she did, she was really sick and she had a migraine. She kept passing out and she couldn't stand up, let alone walk, so that's why she's not here."

"Do they know what's wrong with her?"

"If they knew, I would have told you," Charlie replied, slightly annoyed.

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_When my time comes to leave_

_I just want you to know_

_I believe_

_That love goes on_

_and never dies_

_so when I'm gone_

_I will give you a sign_

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"Ah. Miss Vertigo. You're awake."

"Hn?" her head hurt so much she was wondering if the gentle, empathetic voice she heard was just an anomaly in the pounding of her brain.

"We think we know what you're sick with," Said the young man's voice. It was such a nice voice. It was the kind of voice Olivia could be friends with, if it wasn't hurting her with its tiny vibrations. And if she could be sure if it wasn't a hallucination.

"Argh." She moaned. There was a sigh and a click beside her, like that of a button being pressed.

In around fifteen seconds, a sort of numb feeling started in the crook of her left elbow and rushed up the veins of her arm. It slowly spread through her entire body, and finally her pounding head. She couldn't think, she couldn't move. She was trapped. It was, in a way, worse than the horrible, crushing, crippling pain. But her numb brain wasn't thinking about the philosophical and metaphorical pain of being trapped, being paralysed and was only thinking about the lack of physical pain. It was so nice. But then the numb feeling gradually receded, leaving only the very shadow of pain and a stupid, sleepy feeling.

"Is that better?" said the voice with infinite tenderness.

"Yes," Olivia answered.

"We think you have some form of brain cancer. I'm being simple, Olivia, so that you will remember this. I'm not patronizing you."

"I can rememem. Remember." It was so hard to form words.

"We have you on so much painkillers right now, I'm surprised you can understand me."

"What?"

"Never mind."

"Am I going to die?"

The doctor winced. At least, he probably winced, judging by the tone of his next words. "You shouldn't be so blunt, Olivia."

"I have to know."

"It's possible."

"It's also possible that the hospital could collapse on our heads in a few minutes. It's possible for anyone to die anytime."

"Well, if you're thinking like that, then yes, you definitely will die." There was a hint in the young doctor's voice that he was playing a joke on her.

"So will you. I mean, am I going to die from this cancer or whatever it is?"

A pause. "As I said, it's possible,"

"Just tell me."

"It has grown... fairly large... you must have been hosting it for at least one year, possibly two."

"Hmm. That still doesn't answer my question."

"I'm impressed. You're still coherent with this much painkillers."

"I'm always cohesive... I mean coherent..."

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_and I will fly across the valley_

_I will land up in the pine_

_and when you hear_

_a lonesome wren's song_

_you will know_

_it's me_

_up on high._

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**Katez-Chan: **Yeah... I just thought you guys might want to see the proof that I actually wrote something today, just not in Misunderstood. Sorry I'm not working on that. But I got bunnied by a what-if. Yeah, I know, CharLiv is my favourite couple, so why haven't I ever done anything at all for that? DX I don't know.

Not so much of a cliffy on this one. Which is weird, because I'm like, addicted to cliffhangers.

I actually did research on the symptoms of brain cancer. I R SO PROWD OF MYSF!

The sensation of painkillers was witnessed firsthand by yours truly, when I was hit by a car in 2nd grade. I know, It's been 7 long years, but I still remember it well.

So I had this playing on my iPod and I couldn't stop this fic from creeping into my brain.


	2. Chapter 2

**Katez-chan:** Hehe, chapter two, finally. I sometimes feel like I'm a reader rather than the author.

I planned out the story and it'll probably only end up being about three chapters Yeah, I wish it would last longer. Warning to those who dislike TancEmma: There is some in this chapter. Yeah. So deal. For the many who aren't fans of Paton/Julia, I didn't make them married. Happy? *pouts*

**Spoiler spoiler spoiler!!!**

Dr. Brant, the doctor, was candy-coating the truth. The fatality rate for adolescent brain cancer is, unfortunately, very high. Especially in the sector where Olivia's tumor is... But, of course, this is a fanfic! What kind of fanfic would this be if she died?! So don't lose hope! Mainly because this is _fiction._ They're bound to revive her with magic or alchemy or something! *shot* Okay, not alchemy.

**Okay, maybe that wasn't so much of a spoiler spoiler spoiler!!!**

Wholy crap, haha... Bad wording, Jenny... "I'm sure Charlie told you about his night under the table." Yeah... I'm listening to HK on audiobook right now. Baaad choice of words.

**Disclaimer: **Blah blah, I don't own the song or the characters, blah blah I'm sure you know.

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Olivia woke up.

It was not a pleasant experience.

On reflex, her right hand moved to her side. She pressed the small blue button labelled "PAIN" set into the table next to her. She endured the fifteen-second wait. Fifteen seconds; an eternity. Her expression twitched by not a hair as she experienced the now-routine numbness and light-headed relief. This had gone on for a week; they had diagnosed the growth, proclaiming it to be cancer for sure; they had tried at least ten different kinds of painkillers; some of them actually knocked her out, others did nothing. She was currently on the exact same thing she'd started with. It was the longest and worst week of her life. She was glad it was the weekend. She would have more people to talk to than overenthusiastic fans and doctors, although two doctors in particular were closer to being friends: Dr. Brant and a woman who told Olivia to call her "Milla" rather than "Dr. Linnele." On the subject of fans, the day before, she'd been visited by a fourteen-year-old boy who had been so nervous he practically passed out when he saw her. The only visitors worth seeing were her mother, who visited every day, and Julia Ingledew. Emma's aunt had brought her four books which looked interesting, and which Olivia would certainly have read if she could read while under painkillers. It was unthinkable to try even existing without them. Her father was on his way back from Australia (A/N: He was in S. America during the books, and then in this fic he came back for about two years and then went to Australia...) . Dr. Brant and Milla were always good company but they couldn't ba around all the time, and mostly, she was asleep when they came by. Now, she could see Emma, Charlie, Fidelio... She was aware that there were others, she just couldn't think of them. Thinking took so long. She wondered why she'd kept her migraines a secret from her mother and her friends for those six months. She'd occasionally thought she would die from the pain. But as long as she was conscious she could create illusions. And as long as she could create illusions she could hide her cringing shape from her friends and her mother. She wondered why she hadn't sought medical help. She hadn't realised that her affliction was something that would get worse over time. She thought that it was her endowment that gave made her head hurt so much. If she went to a doctor, and they found no discernible cause, they would wonder about its cause, and her mother would never give up until she had a reason. She wondered why it had been so crucial to keep her talent concealed from her mother, of all people.

"Liv?" that was the voice of Milla.

"Hnn?"

"Ah, you're awake! You have some visitors."

She opened her eyes for the first time that day, and saw her school friends; Emma, Charlie, Fidelio, and- she flushed, and mentally apologized for forgetting them- Tancred and Lysander.

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_So please don't cry_

_when I go_

_just take out the fiddle_

_and rosin the bow_

_and sing all night_

_till the morning comes_

_send me on my way_

_upon wings of love_

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"O- Olivia?" Fidelio gasped.

She looked so unlike herself. There were dark rings under her eyes, and she was very pale. A shadow of a smile passed across her gaunt face.

Fidelio was horrified.

"She only looked a little better than this when we found her," Emma whispered. "her appearance changed so suddenly. I think she knew that something was wrong with her and she was keeping an illusion going whenever she was in public."

"Why?!" Fidelio didn't bother to whisper. "Why would she hide something like that?!"

"I can hear you," Olivia said, her expression alone making him cringe.

_ _ _

Nearly fifteen minutes of awkward conversation.

A quarter of an hour.

Soooooooooo long.

It was unbearable.

It was simply heartbreaking, to see someone as boisterous and energetic as Olivia in such a state. She actually seemed happy, though, a sliver of her former attitude. She grinned and laughed, and it was almost like she was merely ill.

"So, Liv, when will you be better?"

"I'm not going to get better."

"Oh, come on, Olivia!" Milla chided.

"I'm going to die." She didn't even seem scared. She just accepted it, just like that.

"You are not." the others turned to look at Fidelio as he proclaimed this, this fact. "We won't let you."

Olivia looked sad for the first time, and a hint of tears sparkled in her eye. "I am. I am, aren't I? I overheard you and Dr, Brant talking about it. He said it was probably too late to save me."

"It is not!" Milla stood up.

"It's okay," Olivia said calmly. "To be honest, I'd rather die."

"What?!"

"I would rather die than live like this for a normal lifespan. I hate it. Even if the pain goes away, I'll be left numb and stupid, like I am all the time now, right? Right?!"

"But Liv," Emma said quietly, sitting still, not sobbing, but with tears infrequently rolling down her cheeks. "If you die, we'll all be sad."

"Yeah, Liv, we'll never forgive you." That was Tancred, holding back a smile. Emma laughed, but it was almost a sob.

Suddenly, Olivia's eyes drooped, and soon she was asleep.

"What..."

"That was me." Dr. Brant walked in. "When she said she'd rather die, well, I just put her to sleep."

"No, not _that_ kind of putting her to sleep," he said hastily at their expressions. "I mean, _sleep_ sleep."

Needless to say, they were all very relieved.

"You should probably go." Milla smiled, rather grimly. "She won't wake up for another few hours."

_ _ _

"What's up? You look kind of depressed." That was the greeting as the five teenagers entered Ingledew's books.

"Olivia said she'd rather die than live." Emma replied simply. The tear tracks still glistened on her cheeks. Tancred wrapped a comforting arm around her shoulders as she wiped her eyes on her sleeve.

Miss Ingledew simply looked shocked. "She said that?"

"Almost word for word," Charlie replied grimly.

None of them attempted to speak to or comfort the shell-shocked, devastated Fidelio. It was probably for the best.

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**Katez-chan: **Yes, I'm sorry! I did it again! Cliffhangers are my friends and I couldn't stand to betray them anymore! Just be glad I didn't end it in the middle of an ill-fated surgery or something.


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